I caved last night. It was a combination of the party's atmosphere acting as aprodisiac, the drought, and my possible crush on SchoolBoy [for info on him see
V.D.]. We'll call this boy who caused my fall from the Celibacy Wagon, Casanova. Casanova is a tall, blue eyed smooth talker with gorgeous lips and a smile that would charm Hilary Clinton out of her knickers.
Casanova and I were indirectly introduced to each other months ago, through a mutual friend. Every attempt to meet up or hang out fell through, and until last night I'd never seen him face to face. We'd flirt and sext occationally but nothing too concrete, at least until I extended an invite to the party last night. When he showed up and I got a good look at him it was there, The Spark. That was my first clue that I was doomed.
Here's the scene: everyone's drinking, people are making out, others dancing, beer pong is happening in the kitchen, smokers outside laughing, dark mood lighting and lots of drinks. Casanova starts putting the moves on and before I know it, I'm shoved against the wall in the hall and he's kissing me H A R D. My knees about give out and when he pulls me tighter against him and bites my lip, I know I'm in trouble.
We're interupted by My Gay and some other friends who wanna dance with me or challenge him to beer pong. Luckily this seperation continues for a while, long enough for me to collect myself and my resolve. I go back into the kitchen for another beer thinking he won't notice me and I can skip in and out without seeing him. "Out of sight out of mind" being my motto as I sidestep the Asians and make a beeline for the fridge.
I discover I'm wrong when while I'm bent over grabbing a Corona and someone slides a hand to cup my ass. I jerk straight up and turn around, only to find myself pinned against the fridge. I take a deep breath and try not to be seduced as we chat for a bit while I prep my Corona. He asks me to dress his Corona too because he's lazy and he likes "when a girl does it". I do it and slide it across the counter as I turn to go outside for some air. He grabs the beer and my hand at the same time and follows me out for a cig.
When we're outside I purposely sit on the window sill so he can't sit next to me. He pulls up a chair across from me and we chat while we drink and smoke. Friends filter in and out the backyard, and My Gay comes back to kidnap me for a song. We're dancing and pulling people to dance with us; I grab Casanova before I realize it and we're grinding and making out.
At this point I have to make a conscientious decision: tell him outright I'm not sleeping with him, or cave. You'll be proud of me, I chose tell him the truth; I'm not having casual sex or anything like that because I'm just tired of it. In restrospect that probably wasn't the best idea, because I became more than just a score, I became a challenge.
He turned up the charm and some how everyone in the party was suddenly on his side:
"Are you going to have sex with him?"
"Why haven't you two just gone upstairs already?"
"Fuck him now. Do-it-now!"
"Will you two stop making eyes at each other and just get naked?"
As I drink more and more, the constant barage of "go bang him" starts to sound like a good idea-- if nothing else, it'll get everyone else to shut the hell up. I guess he could sense it because we're both upstairs and into an empty room before I know it. We're making out and stripping clothes off and apparently once we start having sex, someone pops into the room and pops back out. If that was supposed to be a sign to bail out and not continue, I sure didn't pick up on it. I didn't even know until afterwards, when he told me "one of your friends popped in, I guess?".
He was rough and passionate; the whole thing was so organic, I don't think I could've said no even if I wanted to. I don't feel terrible that I had sex with him, and I don't feel bad that I don't regret it. Hm, I don't think I'm too good at this no-sex deal.
