now i've been adamant with starting out strong on this new abstinence kick-- i even forwent birthday sex, thinking that i've already built up momentum and to cave would be to undo the little progress i've made. not many people have faith in my ability to stick with this but i've got to-- frankly, this is the beginning of me taking back control of my life and my shit. i'm not going to let men, society or my libido call the shots anymore-- things go down when and/or if i say so, not anyone else.
i have received an offer for sex, true to form; once its off the table, it's like guys sense it and want it even more. Fuckbaggerson, a former possible flame, is laying it on pretty thick, and while two summers ago i would have jumped at the chance to shed my pants for him this year i find myself giving him the run around. i'm worried that if i outright tell him i'm not sexing anyone for a year, he'll think me a challenge and turn up the efforts.
but so far so good, no real wishes to deviate and i've been really good about blocking any possible flare ups. ten days down, 355 days to go.
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